boring and draining air out of me

Hey i am back, but there is no changes today, the same old staring at the walls and do nothing but just staring. I really hate this kind of feeling , it seem that i am staying at IMH and i am behaving like one too, i seriously cannot take this any more, i just wish that i have a pair of wings, just fly out of this argony, i wish i can stand by the jetty and enjoy the view of endless shoreline. i now only can wait for recovery, now i know how it feels like to lose your pair of legs, seriously it just felt hopeless and straing in to blank space and just wait for his/her come to an end. But for me i just cannot believe that how do they do it, this is and torture, nothing compare to escaping death, this is putting you at a spot slowly let to you breakdown. i know i may be very lame and helpless, but seriously, for those friends who are reading this, i tell you there is only one place for me to move about which is the bed and only the bed, compare me to those who are seriously overweight and cannot get off the bed, it might be them who looks more suffer but they still can get what they want and what food to eat , but for me i only have congee to choose and only have pork and fish to consumed. it may sounds funny but all other edible stuff are “harmful” to my recover. Does it sound lame ?? Haizz i just wish everyday there is something to do even to clean my room and move about, but i cannot do so as my lower is numb and i cannot feel my both legs. If now is Christmas, i will ask for feelings of my legs back and able to stand for even a second, i am contented. i sound so silly, as if i am going to end my life now, hahahahaha. But this is really how i feel about my lifestyle now and only can express by writing here. All the best guys, wish that you all will do well in school!!!

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