Overweightsam's Thoughts of the Day

Coming back in a worst state of my life

fattysam — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:29:36 +0000

why do people close to me, had to leave my life when i needed them most…..this is one of the thing i really cannot understand and will never understand…. this isn’t the things i learn from young, but people believe that if you do good stuff to help other people who are in need, good things happen to you…. In fact this isn’t some thing that is shown in front of me ….. Now i can feel that the despair and the loneliness of some one lost their love ones…. is not like break up with your GF but is worst than that…. thing cannot be amended when god is holding all the cards in his hand….. i am willing to pray as hard as possible that things will change and not going in the way that i am not willing to accept the fate of her life ……….. i just want her to be by my side and going out with her whenever she wants….. despite her age, she is still healthy and travelling all over the world…… i seriously went down on my knee to pray to you god, letting to her stand up again, that will be my last faithful wish …….. i will do any thing just to let her get well even if a had to sacrifice myself ………….

I just pray that Lord please heal her as she needed you ….. and i need her ……in the name of the lord i willing to sacrifice to help those people who needed help and inexchange please heal her , from the bottom of my heart , i truthfully pray that you will answer my call for you and her call for you ……

Yet a boring day!

fattysam — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 17:21:00 +0000

today there is nothing exciting happen to me, as unsal i am still staring at that plain blue wall of mine. it will be shock if there is colours or paniting on my walls. but now getting weaker by day, dizzier, by night, drozier by every seconds. This might be a test for me to overcome this weak skeleton of mine. But i have to say that i am already 50% losing this long battle. Just wish that no body will have to suffer like me any more. WHY! WHY! WHY! Why is this happening to me ,What did i do wrong that now i be treated like that, Just get me a sight to show why i deserved this .

boring and draining air out of me

fattysam — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:35:42 +0000

Hey i am back, but there is no changes today, the same old staring at the walls and do nothing but just staring. I really hate this kind of feeling , it seem that i am staying at IMH and i am behaving like one too, i seriously cannot take this any more, i just wish that i have a pair of wings, just fly out of this argony, i wish i can stand by the jetty and enjoy the view of endless shoreline. i now only can wait for recovery, now i know how it feels like to lose your pair of legs, seriously it just felt hopeless and straing in to blank space and just wait for his/her come to an end. But for me i just cannot believe that how do they do it, this is and torture, nothing compare to escaping death, this is putting you at a spot slowly let to you breakdown. i know i may be very lame and helpless, but seriously, for those friends who are reading this, i tell you there is only one place for me to move about which is the bed and only the bed, compare me to those who are seriously overweight and cannot get off the bed, it might be them who looks more suffer but they still can get what they want and what food to eat , but for me i only have congee to choose and only have pork and fish to consumed. it may sounds funny but all other edible stuff are “harmful” to my recover. Does it sound lame ?? Haizz i just wish everyday there is something to do even to clean my room and move about, but i cannot do so as my lower is numb and i cannot feel my both legs. If now is Christmas, i will ask for feelings of my legs back and able to stand for even a second, i am contented. i sound so silly, as if i am going to end my life now, hahahahaha. But this is really how i feel about my lifestyle now and only can express by writing here. All the best guys, wish that you all will do well in school!!!

hey hey is me again fattysam!!!!

fattysam — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:05:59 +0000

Kinda boring today as i never had any people to talk to other than adda, cheryl, kaira. Now i just wish i could have a speedy recover on my knee operation. This is killing me slowly, can you imagine that you are not able to move your lower body and laying on the bed the whole day, just staring at the four corners of the room. I think i am going crazy as i really do not know what or how to entertain myself from this misery. I also lost my regular eating habit, it became worst from not eating rice to no drink cerel. i think the medication is making me feel this way, but i really dun undertand, i thought medicine is gonna make the patient feels better and have a better recovery, yet i taking it but i feeling lousy every time. It may be my thinking that is going against the medication but i just want to have the feeling back of my legs and able to go out with friends and be able to play sports. But with this current state, i dun think that i am able to get up and move to the kitchen. I miss all my poly buddies and my secondary mates, just wish they are doing well in their schools. got to end now the drug(medication) is make me not to think clearly, See you tomorrow!!

Hello world!

fattysam — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:30:42 +0000

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